A few weeks ago I went to bat for someone, stood up for them, stood up for their marriage, stood up for their character...and now it feels as if the faith I had and the life I saw was just a huge front.
What happened to honesty? What happened to integrity? What happened to value? Self satisfaction? Pride? Love? Justice? What does any of this mean anyways, if I can't find many instances of any of it existing, then it doesn't truly exist, right? If it is rare to find in humanity, does it really exist, or is it just a thinly tinted window masking what really lies beneath?
I remember, quite distinctly actually, the moment in which I decided I was going to make a commitment to my marriage, and by commitment I mean COMMITMENT (honestly, there is absolutely NO end to this marriage, and to make a long story short, David and I have had, in our time together, HUNDREDS of "what-if" discussions, and by NO end we mean NO END).My grandma had told me a sage piece of advice, based on her 50 years of marriage:
When you marry, your spouse and your child/ren are your priority. We have done our job in raising you, now you must go do your job, and do it with the person who is most important, the person who is going to be by your side long after the rest of your family is gone.
We challenge each other, we challenge our view points, our beliefs, our values, because good debate and the evolution of how we influence each other makes us stronger. I think many people don't talk any more. Couples have forgotten how to discuss. Instead they avoid, confront, lament, cast aside, ignore, etc.
David doesn't brow-beat me, nor do I him. David doesn't blame me, nor do I him. We DISCUSS why things happened, and get to the root cause of issues. Oh trust me it hasn't been easy, and yes in the beginning we did more blaming than discussing, but we united in our efforts. We made the decision together to stop the cycle and improve our lives, improve our love, and improve our union.
In general, I think many people today are quick to blame, quick to jump into self-preservation mode and cast out whatever is unpleasant. Marriage is, at times, unpleasant, but marriage is also beautiful. It is a deep connection, one that binds two people together in ways that only those two know. It is spiritual, it is magical, it is a force that should be impenetrable. I don't think most people understand it anymore.
Men and women, both, are stuck looking for the next best thing, the thrill, playing the game, and using cheat codes along the way. How is that fulfilling?
(out of time for now, must go to my place of employment...to be continued)
No comments:
Post a Comment