Time spent catching up...

I had the opportunity, this morning, to had a much long overdue conversation with my Lala.

Once upon a time, in the middle stages of my pregnancy, I made the crazy decision to move to a far-away land called Montana.  August 4, 2004, I was stuffed into a tiny little office with some blonde chick and forced to watch horrible videos about workplace safety, sexual harassment, tobacco and alcohol sales, etc.  Doing my usual self-defense mechanism, I started mocking the videos.  I soon had said blonde laughing with tears. By the end of the afternoon I had learned this blonde had a name, Holly; and we had a lot of instant chemistry.

Lala (Holly), and I were inseparable.  My husband worked nights, and I would need to be away during the day so he could sleep.  Lala and I filled that time with board games, road trips, window shopping, photography, and attempting to teach me how to cook (and she would love to ravish you with tales of my burning water; I really did).  Lala was me, and I was Lala.

Lala was there during my entire labor and delivery, and even has the blood stained sweater to prove it.  She played an integral part in helping me master motherhood; she even helped to raise my daughter and gave my husband and I much needed time together whenever possible.

Our friendship is, by far, one of the reasons I am who I am today.  There were many miracles in our friendship, many highs, and many lows; the lowest of lows.  Lala and I were as much in a relationship as any marriage, only without the romance and intimacy.  I could never have been blessed with someone better during those years.

The last few years have led us in 2 completely different places.  She now lives in Michigan, and I in Idaho.  We are 2 time zones apart, with husbands and daughters.  We rarely get the opportunity to talk, and until this morning  had not talked in almost 8 months.

At times it seems our distance has played a role in drifting us apart. It seems that time itself can plant sadness in our hearts and minds.  We may feel as if the other doesn't care anymore, that our friendship isn't what we thought is was.  We may think, "our friendship was strong, why can it not weather this distance".  I know I have felt, at times, betrayed by time and distance; pulling me away from her physically and emotionally.

Then time steps back in and says, "no! sorry, but you weren't meant to be pulled apart, you were meant to talk at this point, because trust me it will be more meaningful this way".  And that is exactly what time did.  Time gave us a common moment, a few hours where we were able to reconnect, to share our lives as they are, and still enjoy every moment of sadness and laughter we were given.

I feel blessed that I was given this time with her again.  I feel that the real lesson is that life is unexpected, and we cannot let our sadness or frustration dominate our actual thoughts.  We may not have all the time in the world, but when we are given time, to make the most of it.

Much love,
Tia

My first time...

Liberation.  From myself.  From the standards set by others.  From the idea of being every thing to every one.
This is me, Tia.  A mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend.  I love to learn, cook, teach my child, and most importantly, I love to love.

There is this thing I am doing, it's called life.  I am learning to live it, breathe it, and be a part of it.  I want to learn all I can, and pass this knowledge to my daughter.  I want to cook better, eat better, live healthier, and be a better friend.

I heard from my dearly loved husband last night, he told me there is a noticeable difference in my personality; I am more outgoing, considerate, caring, and friendly than recent years.  I feel as if all the obstacles in life have led me to this place; this place of urgency and eagerness, this place of my actual life and how I am taking control.

I love this feeling, and look forward to sharing more of it with you.

Much love,
Tia